Thoughts...Choices...Decisions!

2 years ago we had just moved to Utah and felt like we were starting all over again. I was frustrated with the whole baby situation and felt like nothing would ever happen. Pretty much because of the money aspect. I started working with Crofts and my boss told me about an agency in Mesquite that he had adopted his daughter through. Jon and I talked about it and decided that we could possibly pursue it. I got all the paperwork and information and that is where it all stopped. Since it was a private adoption it was going to be a lot more money than going through the church. The only problem was I didn't feel like we were supposed to go through the church. February 6th came and I was up in Orem with my parents while my sister gave birth to her first son Trey. After she had him I went out into the lobby to rest a little since we were pretty much up all night. My parents came out to rest also. It was that moment that I will remember forever... my dad told me that they were going to help us financially with the adoption. All I could do was cry. I KNEW we were supposed to go through this agency and this was the answer. As soon as I got home we started the paperwork and got ready for the wait. We had a few nibbles on our profile and didn't feel right about those birthmothers. The end of May came and the phone rang... they had a birthmother that they had told us about in the very beginning. (There was nothing we could do about it in the beginning since our paperwork wasn't ready and they felt like she had wanted an african american family.) She didn't want to pick a family and let them pick. They asked me if we were interested... I was at home alone and told her I would call back once I talked to Jon... but I knew that this was my baby. Jon got home and we went for a walk and talked about it. He also felt the same way so I called back and told them to go ahead and show her our profile. It was then that she told us they were picking and they had picked us!!!!!!!! The birthmother didn't want anything to do with the family so it was going to be pretty smooth. Show up at the hospital and pick him up when we could. We still had to finish our homestudy so the next day the caseworker came to finish it up. She also told us that the birthmother had decided that she wanted to meet us the NEXT day! Holy cow... I was a mess. :) We went to Vegas on Saturday and met with her and fell in love. I just remember staring at her face. She was beautiful and she was carrying MY son. We gave her a willow tree figurine of an angel holding a heart and a photo album of our family. She told us her story and I was actually at peace with the whole thing. I still couldn't believe that this wonderful angel was going to give up her son to me. All the way home I just kept thinking that it couldn't come soon enough... but it did. We got a call the next monday that she would be having a C-section on Friday and we needed to be there. So we took off on Thursday with my parents. JT was born and it was one of the best days of my life. We got to come home a week later and time has flown since then. Off and on Jon and I talk about what we are going to do for the next baby. He wants to do in-vitro and I just don't know. It is crazy to me that here it is 2 years later and I feel like I am in the same spot as I was back than. So the thoughts are the same... the feelings are the same... the choices are the same... and our decision is somewhat the same. I have felt a sense of urgency to get our paperwork into the church. After much prayer we feel it it time. I am excited and nervous. This time I won't be able to work after and it scares me to quit, but I know that the Lord makes everything possible. We have been so blessed the past 2 years with JT being the biggest blessing. We are also very lucky to be close to both parents and lots of family. So let a new adventure begin. I will keep you all updated on things as they happen. It could be years or it could be months. I have put it all in the Lord's hands... he knows where our baby is and when the time is.... I am doing my part and than he will do his.