Have you ever wanted something so bad that your whole body and soul longs for it? That ONE thing in your life that tries your patience. It keeps you up at night and takes up every nook and cranny of your brain. After waiting 7 years to finally get my miracle child I thought I was at a point that I would be content. JT is the one thing that I have ever wanted. 3 years later and I find myself waiting again. I wish I could say that I would be happy with just one child, but something inside me knows that there are more children meant to come to our family and for some silly reason the Lord really wants to teach me patience. You would have thought I had learned the first time around huh? Well... I guess not. Patience is that vice that just rocks me to my core. It chews me up and spits me out during my darkest moments. President Monson's talk last Sunday on gratitude really woke me up. I sat there sobbing while holding JT. There I was... wanting something so bad while taking for granted the one thing I had been blessed with. I came across a thought from President Uchtdorf about patience... I think I will blow it up big and post it around my house.
"Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well! Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most."
I am hoping now that I have a somewhat renewed strength and will to be patient I can overcome or learn just what the Lord's wants me too. I know wanting children is a righteous desire, but we also have to remember it is in the Lord's time and I guess that is the part that I struggle with the most. :) My arms are ready for another precious child. So Heavenly Father whenever you are ready... send them on down.
9 months ago