Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Moving On, Moving Forward

Throughout my life I have been so impatient. Blamed the Lord for making me wait. The first seven years of our marriage was a hard hard time. Not knowing what was going to happen or when we would be able to have a baby. JT came around and my life was filled. Then came the time to wait again. 10 months went by without anything. Suddenly when the time was right we met "T" We were so excited to add a little girl to our family. After months of dealing with early labor, stressful nights, and emotional breakdowns... it all ended so suddenly. We had her room decorated, closet filled, and JT was so ready to be a big brother. When I first heard the news I fell to my knees. The wind was knocked out of me. I didn't think I would make it to the following day, but I stood up. I kept walking. I have to say that I am very proud of myself! I made it through that day plus every day for the next week.

Today marks one week from the time we found out. In that time I haven't questioned the Lord. I have stayed positive and also have really tried to lean on him to understand why these things happen. There are still tears, but I am a new person. I didn't fall and just give up. I remained strong with a Faith that never waivered.

I have the most amazing family and friends. Honestly... I feel so incredibly blessed right now. My husband is my rock. JT is such a sweet boy. My parents and siblings stuck right by my side through this whole trial. Along with all of my other friends and family. I felt every prayer that was offered in our behalf. I KNOW that is what has helped through it all.

Now as we start to wait again... I feel those feelings of doubt try to creep in. I keep pushing them away because I KNOW that the Lord's hand is involved in the adoption process. Our birth mother is somewhere out there. Hopefully she is searching for us.

I TRUST the Lord. I know he has our best interest at heart.


Kimi said...

Big hugs, Bridge. You are amazingly strong and it will all work out the way it is supposed to.

Jen said...

You can do it! I pray for you to get your next miracle often.