It is 1:30 and I can't sleep. I have so much going through my mind right now. Why can't life be easy? I wish everything fell into place. I have had to deal with my share of trials. I am thankful for everyone of them, but sometimes I wish they would stop for just a second so I could breath. My biggest trial has been infertility. I am not going to vent about it, I just have to talk for a second. I have my good days and I have my bad days... and today was a kind of an in between day. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who puts up with me. :) If it weren't for him holding me up the first 7 years of our marriage I would have probably given up. I am also blessed with a wonderful friend, Judy, who has adopted all five of her children. She understands exactly what I am going through and I can call her at any time and talk or just cry. A year ago a special spirit was placed in my arms. JT has brought so much joy, peace, love, happiness, and a wonderful feeling to our home. I can not thank his birthmother enough for the huge sacrifice she made by letting him go. There will always be a special place in our hearts for her. As I watch JT grow up I see little parts of her and it always reminds me what she did for us. Jon and I have started to think about a second child. This brings back all the anxiety, stress, and worry that I had during the first 7 years. I always thought before we got JT that once we had him it would all go away and everything would be perfect. Judy has told me over and over again that those feelings... the longing to carry a child... to give birth...for it to just be "easier"... will never go away. As much as I supress them I can never get them deep enough. I don't want to sound like I am ungrateful because I am not. I love JT with everything that I have. I am just having one of those days... and sometimes it helps to talk it out. Thanks for listening to those who read this. I think now I can sleep and finally let my head stop. Here are a couple of pictures of my precious angel. He is growing up so fast and we love to do "big boy" things with him.Daddy wants a dirt bike and so does JT. :)
Not quite ready for the slide. LOL
Check out my "new" face. He makes this face all the time while sniffing his nose.