This is going to me venting. I am frustrated and just need to get it out. So if you aren't in the mood to read me griping... than go ahead and show yourself off the page. :) It seems like all I hear about adoption now a days is the time and money that it takes. Which is very very very true. You don't know how much I have wanted to be pregnant. For those of you who think adopting is 100% easier than being pregnant... THINK AGAIN!!! I will take morning sickness. I will take 9 months of feeling fat. I will sacrifice my body to help create a child. I waited 7 LONG years to become a mother. Being a mom was the only thing I ever wanted to do. Throughout those 7 years I told Heavenly Father I would give up everything I had to be able to experience having a baby. I have heard the many stories and know friends that adopted and than got pregnant. Believe me it would be so much easier and I wouldn't have to worry about being that perfect family so someone will choose us. We aren't perfect and I am not going to act like we are perfect. Making sure you have included enough pictures that show you as a happy family. Writing your birthmother letter and worrying that you aren't saying enough or are saying too much. Making sure that your family and friends know you want to adopt. I hate selling myself. I don't think it is fair. Jon says he is sure that we signed up for this in heaven before we came. I am sure we did, but maybe I wasn't quite sure what it was going to entail ;)
My second pet peeve about adoption is the money. It just really gets to me when I see these adoption situations out there in the range of 30k - 40k. Are you kidding me? There are some of us families that don't have that kind of money just sitting around. To me it is getting to be more of a baby selling market which makes me so sad. There is an agency that I know of that charges more for a "white" baby than an AA baby. Which seriously pisses me off. Talk about taking advantage of us Adoptive Parents. It isn't like we don't already have enough stress and heartache on our plates... how about we just pile on another problem... You don't have the money... you don't get a baby. I am grateful for LDSFS and I know that if you are patient than things will happen. It is that patient part... I have posted about it before. It isn't my strongest point.
All I want is for JT to have a sibling to play with. It makes me sad when he is talking to his imaginary cousins (who live in Colorado). I am worried that we will wait so long that I just won't be able to wait anymore and just give up. That isn't fair to Jon or JT, but how long can a person wait? Is it too much to ask to just get a break every now and then? We are a happy family. We love each other. We adore JT and just want another child to adore! I will go as far as I can in this adoption process. Believe me I am sure many of you are tired of seeing our profile on facebook. There is someone out there for our family. I am excited to find our birthfamily. Please help me to be more patient and forget about the pain and heartache as we go through this process. And please be patient with me while I am a crazy person as I "advertise" for our little family.
6 months ago