Sunday, March 20, 2011

Open Adoption

This has been on my mind a lot lately. When we first decided to adopt we honestly didn't really know what we were doing. We didn't do research... we just jumped and hoped that it would all take care of itself. We were so lucky that the agency we were with pretty much took care of everything and it all worked out. We were naive when it came to contact after placement. His birth mother didn't want any contact so we went with that. And honestly that is really what we wanted and felt comfortable with. We actually ended up sending pictures and letters for a year, but she never got them due to a situation that came up. In the year that we have been with LDSFS and waiting to adopt again we have learned so much about open adoption and what a blessing it can be.

Jon and I have talked about finding JT's birthmother for the past few months. I have times where I wish I could just call her to let her know that JT is doing well. I wonder if she thinks about us often and pray that she is doing well. He has older siblings and a younger sibling. To me it is so important that he has a chance to know them. We still don't know when we will contact her, but probably in the next few years we will try to find her.

Now comes the exciting part. We are so excited and look forward to having a relationship with our next birthmother. Not only through pictures and letters, but we hope we will be able to have visits. We have talked to and seen other families have relationships with their birthmoms and it is such a blessing in everyone's life. For me to have an open adoption is not only to add another child to our family, but add a whole other family! (birthmom, birthdad, and their families) The sweetest thing to hear is JT praying every night before bed to bless our birthmother that she can find us and that she will be ok. I am so thankful to have learned about open adoption and the miracle that it can be in our lives.


meridional said...

Dangit... I almost went the whole day without getting teary eyed!

Judie and George said...

You have an amazing attitude. What a lucky birth mother to get you!

Not Just A Birth Mom said...

Why wait? Life is full of the unknown. What would you do if you waited a few years to find her, only to learn she had passed away somehow? Or even worse, what if something happened to JT before you found his first mother?
I am glad to know you all have decided on open adoption this second time around. It will truly benefit both you and the child. However, I urge you to start looking for JT's first mother. The sooner all of you can start to form a relationship, the better.
Good luck with everything :)

Josh and Britany said...

I would love to talk with you about this sometime. I have a little bit of a different take on it and would love to share it with you. Ultimately you have to do what you feel is best for you and your family but if you want to hear another side of it, let me know.